50TH BLOG POST!

To celebrate the 50th Blog Post here at Castle Blogferatu, I thought it’d be fun to ask 50 people,  “What’s your favorite horror movie?” No-brainer for a horror blog, right?

But the contrarian in me spoke up. “Favorite? Gah. Cause some trouble. Stir up some controversy. Maybe hurt some feelings. Ask them their least favorite horror movie!”

Who am I to argue?Things I purposely didn’t specify:

  • What I meant by “least favorite.” I got answers ranging from movies people thought were terrible, boring, overrated, stupid, etc. to movies that scarred or traumatized people.
  • What I meant by “horror” which yielded some interesting results.
  • Whether or not to explain the answer, so some people did, and some didn’t.

In a few instances, I’ve left off some names in the interest of privacy, mainly people who don’t have some kind of public, semi-public job or online presence or just prefer to be left the hell alone.

Finally, thanks to all the folks who let me pester them about this!

Ready?

1– I’ll get myself over with and get to the good stuff. But it is my blog, so I get to cheat a little. On one hand, The Blair Witch Project is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. On the other hand, Rosemary’s Baby is one of the most overrated. On the other other hand, I have to go with a movie that fails spectacularly on many levels: acting, advertising/exploitation, editing, plot, script, sound design, everything. Yep, The Last House On The Left, original Wes Craven version. Maybe if I kept telling myself, “It’s only a waste of film. It’s only a waste of film. It’s only a waste of film.”

Fellow Bloggers
2- Barry P., Cinematic Catharsis: It was a tough call, but I’m going to go with Godmonster Of Indian Flats. The movie spent the first hour bogged down in a boring subplot. When you finally get to see the monster, a mutant sheep, it’s really underwhelming. I just felt bad for the poor schmoe who had to walk around in the awkward costume.
3- Becky, Film Music Central: Oh this is an easy question (I’m not a big horror fan). My least favorite horror film is the remake of A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010). Classic horror should never be touched.
4- B Noir Detour: I’ll go with 2005’s House Of Wax.
5- Jonny Numb, Loud Green Bird: One of my least favorite horror movies, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. My fatal flaw is not hating on a film until I’ve seen it for myself, and this is one of the most painful I’ve ever witnessed (also one of a handful that I heavily considered walking out on). Lulled by the promise of an origin story (unnecessary, but could’ve been interesting if done with any interest), what I got instead was a rehash of the 2003 remake, with the sadism and nihilism cranked to 11. Poor plot, poor characterization, and criminal misuse of R. Lee Ermey’s Full Metal Jacket shtick.
6- Kalie Zamierowski, Just Dread-Full:  I think I’m going to go with the recently released Don’t Breathe as a horror movie that dramatically underwhelmed me. The characters are asking for what they get, it treats blindness/disability as a monstrosity, and it’s not scary. And more thriller than horror.
7- Kristin, Speakeasy: Creature From The Haunted Sea. So bad I actually really enjoyed it, with a monster legend used to cover up murders, but then the real creature shows up, and it’s a low-budget thing made of green carpet and ping pong ball eyes.
8- Mike Perry, Mike’s Take On The Movies: Horror Movie overload! The first image that hit me over the head with a hammer was that damned Chucky doll. So I guess since it’s the first image, I’ll say any film from that franchise. I’m sure there are worse films out there, but Chucky is just too annoying for me to bother with. The Devil Within Her just came to me. That’s a bad film. Can I sneak in Oasis Of The Zombies as well? Another Jess Franco fiasco among many. This wouldn’t be right without some Ed Wood flick, so how about Orgy Of The Dead. I’d feel dishonest if I didn’t mention Blackenstein as well. I’m off and running, so how about Bert Gordon’s Food Of The Gods. I watched a piece of garbage last year called Frankenstein’s Army and would love to reclaim that 90 minutes of my life. I’d better stop now as this could go on and on…but do I ever hate that Chucky!
9- Ruth, Silver Screenings: The Sentinel. I saw this on TV as a kid during a sleepover–and was terrified! For our viewing pleasure, my friend’s parents made popcorn the old-fashioned way, on the stove with melted butter. This film is my least favourite because it has forever ruined old-fashioned popcorn for me. Even today, the smell of it makes me think of poor Cristina Raines.
10- Ryan, The Missing Reel: Paranormal Activity. It’s cheap, lazy, and boring; I mean, 75% of that movie is watching two people sleep! ZzzzzzzZzzz.

Baristas, Etc. At Café Stella (official caffeine provider of Blogferatu.com)
11- Betty (artist, best barista ever): Rubber
12- Christopher (writer, fellow comics fan, line cook): The Ring
13- Sarah (fellow nerd, the other best barista ever): also The Ring

Bartenders, Etc. At Colley Cantina (official alcohol and burrito provider)
14- Aly (best bartender ever): Darkness
15- Carly (Crown Royal rep): Night Of The Comet
16- Crystal (another best bartender ever): In general I don’t love Jason movies.
17- Eagle Eye (yet another best bartender ever): Any movie where nothing gets resolved, and it just ends.
18- Erik (Marketing Events Coordinator, Green Flash Brewing Company): Thirteen Ghosts (2001). Garbage.
19- Matt (trivia host/Quizmaster Supreme): The Birds. Creeped me out.
20- Pocket (best waitress ever): Horns

Behind The Counter At Naro Video (official video archival library)
21- Erik: Cherry Falls
22- PatrickDuck! The Carbine High Massacre. Immediately after the Columbine massacre in 1999, a couple of young filmmakers specializing in no-budget psychosexual fetish horror movies rushed to be the first to make a film on the subject, scoffing at the idea of some sanitized TV movie-of-the-week interpretation of the tragic event. What these guys created, though, under the pretext of “satire,” is a world in which everyone is cruel and stupid, save for the two clear-eyed, trench coat-donning killers. There’s no diagnosis of their psychosis, merely justification of the celebratory splatter-fest that ends the film. Basically, it’s twice the moral repugnance of Natural Born Killers, minus all artistic merit.

Brothers And Sisters Of The Venue On 35th
23- James Bane (poet): Tremors
24- Jeff Hewitt (poet, columnist, musician, photographer): Saw
25- Jorge Mendez (poet, artist, host of the Monday night open mic at Venue, co-host of The Chocolate Milk And Waffles Show): Rosemary’s Baby
26- Kristin (poet): I must say that I was underwhelmed with Halloween when I first saw it.
27- Terrell K. Mercer (poet, co-host of The Chocolate Milk And Waffles Show): Jaws. It’s a shark. Stay outta the water.
28- Tyler (aka Grilled Cheese, poet): I guess I would have to go with Zombie Strippers. I watched it with a friend group that like to watch stupid horror movies not really knowing what it was, assuming it was either a “so bad it’s good” movie like the hilarious cheesy Python, or a “fun but not taking itself too seriously” movie I would assume Dead Snow would be. It ended up being essentially thinly veiled soft-core porn with extended stripper scenes and the most stale and artificial plot you could imagine. It was a total buzzkill to try to make jokes off of it and extremely awkward to watch, especially in mixed company. Luckily for me I had to leave early and didn’t actually have to sit through all of it.

Other Horror-Related Folks
29- Chris Semtner (how could I not ask the curator of The Edgar Allan Poe Museum in Richmond, Virginia?): That would probably be Paranormal Activity. I struggled to stay awake while watching two unsympathetic characters sleep through half the movie.
30- Elfenshot Films: The Toxic Avenger.

Assorted Friends, Colleagues, Relatives
31- Angela (Naro Video, fellow blogger at The Late-Night Picture Show): Frenzy. That movie straight up traumatized me. I wasn’t right for days afterward.
32- Bob Kunzinger (author of Fragments, Borderline Crazy, A View From This Wilderness): Friday The 13th was just dumb.
33- Dee (librarian, Suffolk Public Library, Suffolk, Virginia): Halloween III: Season Of TheWitch. I know that if it was just a standalone movie, maybe it wouldn’t be as bad, but just because they try to fit it into Halloween, and it made no sense, it just was like a mark of death.
34- Frankenberry (Yep. Assistant Production Director at Pamal Broadcasting): Anything Freddy
35- Jacob: The Shining.
37- Jennie (director, playwright, film professor): Children Of The Corn.
36- Jennifer: The Exorcist. How many times am I allowed to use “choreographed vomit” and “tired writing?”
37- Juliet Cook (poet, editor of Thirteen Myna Birds): I can mention the most recent one I saw (because I just saw it on Halloween evening at the theater, so I wouldn’t be at my house for the trick or treaters– and even though it was Halloween, it was was the only horror movie showing at the theater near me). It was called Ouija: Origin of Evil, and it was awful. But not awful in a scary way. Awful in a non-bloody, non-psychological, non-complex, all over the place, bad script, bad acting, bad filming sort of way. Plus my man and I were the only two people in the theater, and they didn’t even turn the lights down all the way!
38- Manic Mechanic (Angela’s husband): Paranormal Activity
39- Missi (librarian): Saw franchise
40- My Aunt (the person who first got me hooked on horror): Godzilla vs. anything
41- My Co-conspirator: Saving Private Ryan
42- My Cousin: Damn dude, that’s tough. Human Centipede was just wrong on so many levels.
43- My Not Oldest Kid: Scarecrow. The girl it’s after blows it up, and all her friends die because they’re stupid. They tried to shoot it. It’s made of wood. What did they think was gonna happen?
44- My Oldest Kid: Jason Goes To Hell. Stupid movie.

People I Tweeted This Question To Knowing There Was No Way They Would Respond But Tried Anyway Just For The Hell Of It
45- Joe Bob Briggs
46- John Green
47- Lloyd Kaufman
48- Neil Gaiman
49- Patton Oswalt
50- Stephen King

Well, that’s it. Fifty people asked, almost fifty responses. But it doesn’t have to end there. Feel free to add your own response in the Comments! Already wondering what to do if I get to the 100th post.

14 thoughts on “50TH BLOG POST!

  1. Hmmm. Can I nominate the entire sub-genre of what I call “endurance horror” and call it a day? You know, those 1000% humorless gore for gore’s sake films that show people being drugged, tortured, sliced up into chunks and THE END. Horrifying and yet boring in that non-stop intensity. All they do is just end up as fantastic practical effects showpieces for those with cast-iron constitutions while making me wonder who buys and enjoys this stuff.

    Oh, and Rubber is awesome, but you have to commit to it from the start.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Interesting question, and loving your blog. I always say that horror films are the easiest to review (most horror film are crap (it’s true!), and you can write pages on how scary or not it was), that’s why I also review many of them.

    Like

Leave A Comment (Before It's Too Late)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s