Those damaged, misguided souls who follow this blog semi-regularly (now don’t be shy–you both know who you are) know that I’ve discussed a number of horror moments that show up in movies that aren’t horror movies. I thought it might be fun to flip the script this time and look at some not-so-frightening moments from a few horror movies.
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
One of the bed’s potential victims has unexpected ill effects on the demon sleep system. This prevents the bed from eating her. At one point, she leaves, and the bed drinks a bottle of Pepto Bismol. It’s possibly the cheapest sight gag I’ve ever seen, but it still made me laugh.
Here’s a two-fer. First there’s Pacino sticking his finger in the holy water. The unrestrained glee on his face brings joy to my faithless little heart. The second is in the subway when he defuses an assault by telling his aggressor (who was in fact instigated by Pacino in the first place) about Carlos, who is going to fuck this guy’s wife “up the ass…on your special green bedspread.” He then informs the man there’s still time to catch them.
I Drink Your Blood
You have to go to the deleted scenes in the special features for this one. When grandpa goes to avenge his granddaughter, the evil cult gets the better of him, doses him with acid, then (somewhat inexplicably) sends him home. What was cut (and shouldn’t have been) was grandpa’s acid trip.
What’s happening? You’ve got an enormous hickey, that’s what. When I see this now, I want Olympia Dukakis to come out and say, “You got a lovebite on yer neck…your life’s goin’ down the toilet!”
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The funniest moment in the movie comes when the cook and the hitch hiker come to the house where Leatherface has been pursuing Sally. In the process, he has destroyed the front door with his chainsaw. In a moment of unbridled domestic outrage, the cook sees it and yells, “Look what your brother did to the door!”
And that’s enough for now, but stay tuned for a big announcement coming soon!