Me: Know what the problem is with zombies?
Her: This should be stunning.
Me: They’re just not dead anymore. Not superhuman, just not dead. So why is there always a “rising from the grave” scene? That’s impossible.
Her: And that’s your problem with zombies…
A Brief History Of The Zombie Apocalypse
While it was true the virus reanimated the dead, the reanimation took longer than anyone would have ever expected. The result was, in fact, anticlimactic in the face of the causal pandemic. The staggering numbers of the dead forced mass burial and incineration in many parts of the world (of note, nobody seemed to care what happened on North Sentinel Island). The reanimated dead, it turned out, were merely that, the reanimated dead, endowed with neither superhuman nor supernatural strength. As a result, the recently buried and entombed thumped and clawed at the insides of their caskets or beneath the ponderous bulk of earth and concrete and those buried communally with them. Thus, they remained recently buried or entombed. So ended the zombie apocalypse.