I often hear my next door neighbor’s radio through my kitchen wall. Often it’s jesus-y. One day I heard, “If you’re on the internet, you’re looking right at the Beast.” Sometimes I blast Iron Maiden to retaliate. Sometimes I just play around with words.


A man dozes off in front of his computer. When he awakes, he finds he is hopelessly entangled. He struggles to extricate himself. As he exhausts himself, he thinks, “Maybe if I just stay still, nothing will happen.” To his dismay, he feels small vibrations in the sticky threads which ensnare him. A dark form moves. The man thrashes about, crying, “Let me go!” This merely wraps a number of gluey cords more tightly around his arms, legs, and neck. “But I have a wife and maggots to feed!” he screams. A spider the size of an elephant appears.

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