Horror 365, Movie(ish) 128: I Find Weird Stuff

Okay, so sometimes things get a little overwhelming here at Castle Blogferatu. This is one of those times. There is just too much going on, there was no time to check out a movie to review today, and none of my list ideas are particularly appealing. There’s a stack of essays to grade, and it’s shaping up to be a long damn afternoon.

But Blogferatu is one of my few highlights of any given day, and I did set this challenge to write 365 posts in a year, so I had to at least come up with something. Lo and behold, the universe has smiled upon me and delivered a kind of salvation or at least a brief reprieve.

This morning, I stumbled across this thing:

Just take a few moments and drink this in. Let the artistry flow over you. I don’t know if this is real or not. If it’s not, it’s hilarious. I, however, choose to believe it’s real. I have to. Because it’s joyous. Oh sure, it says made in California, but I’m not buyin’ that for a second. No this came from somewhere out there in like Zhejiang Province and was cynically marketed to cover as much horror territory as they could fit on the pack. I mean come on–Texas Chainsaw label, Jason picture, Blair Witch description, Victor Crowley listed as Contents, Michael Myers dressed as Pinhead.

It’s glorious. I want one so bad.

The only thing I’ve seen in recent memory that was worse than this was at a party store one Halloween:

Where does one even start? Where do you go once Deliverance comes to mind? Okay, well maybe “The National Anthem” episode of Black Mirror, but still. Certainly gives a whole new meaning to such phrases as “bring home the bacon,” “ham it up,” “pulled pork,” or “pork bbq.” Or perhaps Barbie-Que. I have no idea who finds this sexy, but hey I’m not here to judge. If this helps, uh, “cure” a little, well, boar-dom in the bedroom, have at it. Who knows? It does say the dress is an optional accessory. And while we’re at it, let’s not get all gender binary here. Imagine your partner, whoever that may be, greeting you at the door wearing this and smile. Use your imagination. Go, as it were, hog wild.

Horror 365, Movie(ish) 127: Blog Roundup

I read a bunch o’ blogs (there’s an extensive list in the sidebar). They’re great places from which to pilfer ideas gain insight. I recall a post from a number of years back from Ruth at Silver Screenings. It was basically a brief overview of some blogs she likes. I thought that was a cool idea (and not just because she mentioned Your Humble Narrator), so cool that I stole drew some inspiration from it. What follows, therefore, is my own tip of the hat to some blogs I follow, like, and read with some frequency.

 

lovecraft

I guess The Lovecraft EZine isn’t really a blog so much as a glorious repository of things Lovecraftian. So many, many things. Spearheaded by Mike Davis The Lovecraft Ezine is my go-to for keeping up with new cosmic horror. But my favorite feature is Mike’s List Of Recommended Lovecraftian Movies. This is where I first heard of both Black Mountain Side, a movie that I can’t heap enough praise upon, as well as The Shrine. I’m slowly making my way through the rest of the list and have yet to be disappointed.

 

silver

Silver Screenings is not a horror blog, but Ruth is a damn fine writer (she has mentioned that I’m witty, so there’s that too). She’s been at this a good long time and is particularly good at discussing the link between music and story. What I really like about Silver Screenings is the Blogathons (often hosted with Shadows And Satin, Speakeasy, and Christina Wehner). The first one I ever participated in was the O Canada Blogathon lo these many moons ago (and which I’m keen to get back to some time). I’ve been popping in for others ever since.

 

barry

Like Ruth, Barry P. has also been pluggin’ away at Cinematic Catharsis for over 20 years. He’s another fun Blogathon host and participant (The Nature’s Fury Blogathon being one of the super-entertaining ones). Barry is a great guy and seems to love many of the same movies I do, poor thing. He also has way cool monthly themes, my favorite being Japan-uary, currently in, I believe, its 10th year and where I just read a great write up of Perfect Blue.

 

dread

This is one of my very favorites: Kalie Zamierowski’s Just Dread-Full. Her posts are smart, conversational, and just personal enough to be interesting without ever becoming self-indulgent (a lesson I could admittedly heed better than I do). Like Barry P., Kalie and I have strikingly similar film tastes, and I think we have kindred writing styles. There’s some opinion and attitude to be had from both of us. There was a time when I wished I could convince her she’s wrong about The Witch, but damn if she hasn’t gone and changed my mind just a little about it. Well played.

 

I was hooked on Cinema Parrot Disco the second I saw the name. She has some good, useful insights, and I’d love to see her blast out more of them. She’s also set up an ambitious Best Picture Project for herself–watching every Best Picture Oscar Winner ever. Apparently she’s down to around 30 to go. That kind of thing is always challenging and impressive (if I do say so myself).

Last but assuredly not least is Film Miasma. Again, very similar cinematic proclivities, and boy howdy talk about your kindred spirits. Imagine Hunter Thompson and Anthony Bourdain getting loaded and talking about movies. This guy’s informal, free-wheelin’ conversational style reads like you’re knockin’ a few back with a buddy and shootin’ the breeze about horror flicks. He ends every review with File Under: __________ and has some great headings like Worse Than The Draft Beer Shits, They Almost Made It To The Happy Ending, and my personal fave, At Least They Tried.

So there it is, just a handful of blogs I look forward to reading and occasionally even comment on. If you haven’t already, drop what you’re doing, and go check ’em out. You can thank me later.