Of course I have a VCR. As a movie person, that’s probably not all that unusual. It is, however, a recent purchase from a local thrift store. Also not all that unusual. What is unusual is that I started collecting VHS tapes a number of years before I broke down and got a VCR.
This was not a rabbit hole I ever intended to explore, but several things happened. First was that I’d been watching some documentaries like Shut Up Little Man and Winnebago Man which in time brought face to face with The Found Footage Festival. Wowzers. If you’ve never had the pleasure, you are so not living your best life. These guys go around and seek out old safety films, corporate training videos, cable access footage, and pretty much any such VHS goodies they can get their hands on. A short while later I stumbled across a documentary called VHS Massacre. That just exacerbated the issue.
The combination of these unstoppable forces naturally sent me out amongst the local thrift shops on the prowl for abandoned, wayward VHS titles to call my own. And boy howdy do I have some absolute treasures. Stuff like Riding Mower Safety, Techniques Of The Barista. One of my personal faves is Jerry Falwell And The Old Time Gospel Hour: The Truth About Aids. It cost a quarter, and a well-reasoned, rational, objective look it is I’m sure. And from the Picture/1000 Words Department:
That’s only a few. The entire VHS List has its own page. If the current plague ever ends, I’m seriously considering putting on my own festival of these things right here in Norfolk. Anyway, The tipping point came when I was writing about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: A Family Portrait– Revisted. Lots of interviews with cast members including the profoundly irritating and constantly self-aggrandizing Edwin Neal.
But it did make me want to see Future-Kill, so online I went to track it down. Tough to find on disc for a price I’m willing to pay. There’s a pre-owned Limited Collector’s Edition on The Bay Of E for $84.99 which, while I’m not sayin’ ain’t worth it, I ain’t shellin’ out neither. But lo and behold if I didn’t find a reasonably priced copy on VHS! Keep in mind this was a while ago. I’ve since found it on dailymotion but one never knows how long it will be there. Plus I don’t really like them.
Of course the first problem I ran into is that I didn’t have any cables with which to hook this semi-obsolete thing up. I did at one point, but somehow they’ve vanished. Probably one of those unguarded “What the hell would ever I need this for” Great Moments In Housecleaning I blame Marie Kondo for. And yes, all you prescriptivist grammarians out there, I do teach English. Yes I ended a sentence with preposition. No I don’t give a rat’s ass. Right, so, several days and $9.84 in Jeff Bezos’s pocket later, I had the cables I needed. My point is, I now own a copy of Future-Kill, so sooner or later y’all can expect a review.