Horror 365 Movie(ish) 195: I Find Weird Stuff Part IV

I love Richmond, Virginia. My favorite place to go is Cary Street, home of The Byrd Theatre, Plan 9 Records, Loose Screw Tattoo, One Eyed Jacques game shop, Heroes & Ghosts Tattoo, Penzey’s and of course Rocket Fizz Soda Pop And Candy Shop.

Rocket Fizz sells a ton of candy many of us remember from childhood: Mallow Cups, Zotz, Razzles, Bottle Caps, Blackjack Gum, those strips of paper with candy dots on them, as well as a bunch of weird Japanese candy (not weird because it’s Japanese…it’s weird and it’s Japanese).

They also sell stuff that ain’t candy: scarves, toys, posters, masks, t-shirts, knick knacks, and various novelties. And that’s where I found this:

I mean, I had to get one. It’s kind of a professional obligation. I keep meaning to wear it to class around Halloween, but I just haven’t done it yet. But the second I put this on, I promise I will post a pic.

Horror 365 Movie(s) 194: The Neverending Movie List

I so want one of these

For some reason yesterday, I got it in my head to make some observations about The Neverending Movie List. It’s currently at 1192 titles. I actually started drafting this in the parking lot I mentioned yesterday but didn’t get very far. In the process of said drafting, I pasted the list into Word so I could refer to it as needed. That’s how I discovered that it’s 26 single spaced pages.

26.

And those are just horror movies. I haven’t even started on a list of all the not-horror movies I’ve seen. I should also note that I play pretty fast and loose with horror, so the list includes movies about horror, creepy documentaries, documentaries about horror directors, and pretty much whatever else I inexplicably or delusionally think belongs there.

I have difficulty alphabetizing. Not because I don’t know the alphabet, but because I don’t know all the filing conventions. For example, I know that in an alphabetical list, numbers go before letters. But what do I do with The 7th Victim versus 28 Days Later? Is 7th a number or a position? Does it go before or after the number 28? I’ve been told I should just alphabetize the number as its word, but that makes me twitchy.

Articles piss me off. I don’t alphabetize A, An, or The, but I do alphabetize foreign articles like in La Llorona. I also hate shit like Addams Family comma The. I can’t bring myself to not include the article because it’s in the actual name of the movie, and I’m a little compulsive about that. But I also can’t list The Addams Family and pretend that starts with A rather than T.

It also bothers me when I have to separate sequels. Not so much a problem with Friday The 13th or Halloween, and even those have some quirks. But alphabetically Hellbound: Hellraiser II comes before Hellraiser. This haunts me.

I have a similar problem with Dungeons & Dragons monster cards (if you’re not familiar, I’ll spare you the explanation of what those are). For example, there are several Green Dragon cards, one each for Young, Adult, and Ancient Green Dragons. Do they go under A and Y? Do they all go under G for Green? Or do they all go under D for Dragon? I lose sleep over this which should give you some indication of the hellscape of my existence.

So let’s see. Some other things I’ve noticed…I have 17 movies that start with some iteration of the word “House.” On the other hand, I only have 7 movies that start with the letter Q (I contrasted these two because they both have 7’s).

Aside from Q, the other least represented letters are, you may have guessed, X (3), Y (6), and Z (4—surprisignly few of the zombie movies I’ve seen actually have “zombie” as the first word in the title). After Q, the next letter with the fewest titles is K (14). Also if my math is right (always a damn good question), the letter S starts the highest number of movies (103).

It’s also been observed that if the average movie runs about 90 minutes, I’ve spent 107,280 minutes watching horror or horror-related movies. I’m not sure what that says about me. I also don’t know how many hours and therefore days that is. I’m not sure if I wanna find out.

I don’t know any numerologists, but I’m curious to know what, if anything, this all, uh, adds up to. If you’re into that sort of thing, by all means let me know in the Comments if you come up with anything. You might say I’m counting on you.

Horror 365 Movie(ish) 193: I Find Weird Stuff Part III

Today was a lot. It started out at a medical facility where my eldest was getting an endoscopy. I wasn’t allowed to sit in the waiting room, but I could sit in the outer lobby where there are 2 small chairs which are A) not good for laptop work and B) right next to the elevators where all the peoples were to-ing and fro-ing. Explain that one.

The 1st floor benches are right by the entrance. My point is, whatever they’re trying to accomplish by keeping me out of the waiting room is contradicted by the other available options. No benches outside to sit on neither. I was also told I could wait in my car as long as I stayed in their parking lot which is what I did, under a tree. There were a breeze, but I couldn’t access the facility’s wifi out there. But I also didn’t have to keep the car running or put a mask on.

So I wrote this right quick on Word so’s I could cut and paste it later. Then I hit an ungodly amount of traffic on the way home causing my normal just about 1-hour ride to become 2½. I’m ready to bite somebody. That makes what you’re about to see somewhat appropriate.

I happened past this at a local supermarket a while back. Naturally, I picked it up. I was going to return it from whence it came, but I then I read the label and thought, “Okay I better buy it.” Guess it’ll, as they say, put hair on your chest.

In other news, I will be on the road Thursday and Friday, so in order to keep the 12-month streak a-goin’ there might be another “filler” post or two. I beg everyone’s indulgence, and I’ll try me ‘ardest to make it up to all y’all.