List posts are tricky. It’s not easy to find that sweet spot between just dashing of a haphazard series of items or including so much commentary it becomes 25-50% more work than a regular review. Rarely do I achieve the finely calibrated balance for which I strive. More often than not, I err on the “more work” side.
So before such a dilemma makes me throw up my hands in disgust, I’m gonna try to lean toward the “not quite as much work” side once in a while. Here then, to that end, is a nice baker’s dozen (cuz 13) of mostly bad horror jokes.
- Speaking of disgust, Did you hear the one about the disgusted cannibal? He threw up his hands
- Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny
- What’s a vampire’s favorite part of the circus? The juggler
- What kind of meat do religious cannibals like? Nun
- How do you fight off an Australian ghost? Boo-merang
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-meringue (Not just one, but two, count ’em two boomerang jokes!)
- What does a French chef like to do for Halloween? Give you the crepes
- What’s a mummy’s favorite music? Wrap
- How do you know all liquor stores are haunted? They’re full of boos
- Why did the mummy’s girlfriend dump him? He was too wrapped up in himself
- Where do zombies go swimming? Dead Sea
- Saved the best for last, two of my favorite Emo Philips bits– It’s nice to be here. I didn’t know what to wear, and my mother said, “Emo, why don’t you wear your grandfather’s nice dress slacks?” So I grabbed a shovel
- If my dad could see me here tonight, he’d say, “Emo! How did you escape from the attic?”
Alrighty, dear and faithful readers, you know what they say. Here all week. Tip your waitstaff. Try the specials.