5/1 Onibaba (1964)
I’ve been meaning to get to this forever, and wowzers was it ever worth the wait. The supernatural element is first rate of course, but the three main characters also have a despicable, everyone is horrible kind of film noir vibe that makes an already mesmerizing film even more intensely watchable. Two women, a younger woman and her mother-in-law, waylay wandering samurai, kill them, and sell off their stuff. A deserter named Hachi returns home and muscles in on this and on the daughter-in-law. There’s a mask. And a curse. And a strange ending.
5/4 The Crawlers (1990)
At the other end of the spectrum, was…this. I don’t know where I even heard about this or why I decided I had to watch it, but damn. This was so not good that not only did I forget what it was about, but when I looked it up, I could still barely remember it. Hazardous waste creates killer tree roots. It’s like someone took the tree root scene from Evil Dead and tried to make it into an entire movie. But it gets worse. Remember the octopus/Lugosi fight scene in Bride Of The Monster? Same kind of “acting,” same level of greatness.
5/14 Hex Hollow: Witchcraft And Murder In Pennsylvania (2015)
I do love a creepy documentary, and what could be creepier than a guy who was supposedly killed for using witchcraft or “pow wow” on his neighbors, especially not super-far from where I grew up? Well, turns out that this managed to be boring as all get out, so boring in fact, that I apparently blocked out having watched it before until I’d gotten about 20 minutes in.
5/16 Matriarch (2022)
May was full of extremes. Onibaba, then The Crawlers, then Hex Hollow, then a big ol’ pendulum swing back to Coolsville with Matriarch. This was cuh-reepy as hell thanks in no small part to Kate Dickie (who I loved in Red Road nearly a decade before her dry dive in Game Of Thrones thank you very much). I can’t think of anything I’ve seen her in where she’s not unnerving at least in some small way, and she more than carries this body/folk horror combo.
5/18 Bride Of Re-Animator (1990)
I had to watch this (and the next one) because Jorge and I decided to discuss the trilogy for Podferatu. They were fun more or less. I don’t think they hold up to the first one very successfully, and this one in particular is bonkers in the sense that the plot jumps around all over the place. There’s lotsa stuff that just doesn’t make sense. Combs is enjoyable, but for me just doesn’t deliver West’s same sense of snide self-satisfaction from Re-Animator.
5/18 Beyond Re-Animator (2003)
A more cohesive plot involving West in prison and taking up his usual shenaniganry, but still a number of problems. First of all, zero explanation of how West survived the end of the second movie. Second, a mid-credit dick joke? We really had to go there?
5/20 Clock (2023)
This was severely disappointing and carried two troubling messages. First, if you’re a woman and don’t want kids, there’s something wrong with you. Second, that also makes you expendable. I have to go with Cinema Parrot Disco on this one: ” just ended up being a dumb film & a dull horror. Not the first time a decent poster fooled me into watching a bad movie! And it won’t be the last.” Same my friend, same (but with trailers). I also totally did not get the ending of this movie, but I don’t want to spoil the ending for those of you who plan to
flush 90 minutes down the shitter watch this at some point. But if it’s the kind of ending that I suspect it might be, well that’s just lame lame lame.
5/22 Dawn Breaks Behind The Eyes
So Clock I watched before I saw CPD’s review. This one I checked out because of Film Miasma. He friggin’ hated this, so being such kindred spirits, I just had to, had to see just how bad it was for meself.
It was so bad I wrote it up, so I won’t be wasting any more precious verbiage on it here.
5/24 Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
Ugh. It pains me how cute, entertaining, and superfun this was because it is after all under the auspices of Hasbro and WotC who spent a good portion of the last 365 days or so throwing around their corporate flab and demonstrating their shocking disdain and contempt for their consumers and fan base whom they by and large regarded as idiots only to find out that, uh oh, they aren’t idiots after all. And yet, here we are. Like I said, fun, almost Bullet Train (the best time I’ve had watching a movie in a long time) fun. And of course, as an avid D&D player (at least until I abandon it for Pathfinder), I’m obligated to weigh in on the tiefling druid owlbear question. The correct verdict is this: holy fuck is that so not interesting. And if you want a take on this that is interesting, check out Dungeons & Discourse.
5/31 Smoke And Mirrors: The Story Of Tom Savini (2015)
I want to like this more than I did. I love love love Savini. The man is a damn legend and is apparently a decent and humble guy, so how did this movie end up being so… meh? I mean, it was fine, and I found out some interesting stuff I didn’t know, but… meh. For some persepective, I watched all 3+ hours of Woodlands Dark And Days Bewitched in one go and loved every second of it, but Smoke And Mirrors? Yeah, not quite so riveting as that or as riveting as it could have been.